So, after careful thought, I have decided that I will not rank my top 5 lists. Since I don’t use a numerical rating for my reviews, then I shouldn’t use numbers here either. That said, here’s my first list look forward to more!
-Anything Joachim picks up – Shadow Hearts Covenant
Anyone who has played the Shadow Hearts games would know that the games have a horror element to them, but are also very silly in their own way. In Shadow Hearts: Covenant, one of your characters, a rather large muscular man named Joachim uses bludgeoning weapons that are usually the size of him. What makes his weapons unique is the fact that he will pick up random objects as you travel throughout Europe and Asia, and use them as weapons. Some of the things he picks up include a stone pillar from some ruins, a mailbox, a locker, a giant frozen fish, and even a miniature submarine (a boat, not a sandwich).
Not only is this ridiculous, but it’s also free! you rarely have to pay for his weapons if you take the time to find everything he can pick up!
-Sulphur – Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al-Revis
Mana Khemia follows the life of Vayne Aurelius, as he begins his alchemy lessons at Al-Revis Academy. He brings with him his pet cat, named Sulphur. Not only is Sulpher Vayne’s trusted companion, he is also Vayne’s method of attack and defense.
Sulpher has the ability to envelop Vayne’s arm and become an arm mounted blade. While it’s only shown once or twice in the game, the scene where Sulphur becomes the weapon is very reminiscent of a symbiote taking over its host in the Spider-Man comics and cartoons. The end result is a very gothic styled weapon, which is really nice to look at, even as a 2D design.
-Branky – Suikoden III
This is probably one of the most ridiculous weapons I have seen in a long time. Branky is a wolf-like puppet, owned by a young woman named Mel. Either she is just THAT good at ventriloquism, or Branky is alive. She is seen having arguments with it, and even slamming its face into the wall when it angers her. Branky’s overall design is very cartoon-like, something you’d see in a slapstick cartoon like Tom & Jerry or Loony Toons.
In combat, Branky is used as a blunt instrument and head butts monsters. It also has the ability to breathe fire, which is totally what wolves can do, right? Well, at least puppets can breathe fire… I’m sure of that.
-Hurly Gloves/Mario – Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
Coming from one of the best RPG games for the Super Nintendo, Bowser’s Hurly Gloves offered him some much needed stress relief. After all these years of failing to beat Mario, by allying with him, he is given the sweet release of being able to throw him at his enemies! If Mario is afflicted with a status ailment, then Bowser will throw a Mario doll at them. It’s the closest thing to victory he is ever likely to get, but there’s no question that he enjoyed every minute of it!
-Guns – Resonance of Fate
Okay, maybe I’m reaching with this one since the guns in Resonance of Fate are typically standard looking, but when I think of this game, I remember gun customization. You can take even the simplest handgun, and add extra barrels, ammo clips, scopes, and more, to increase the overall stats of the gun. This could be done to the point of ridiculousness. While you don’t see the actual finished product of the gun, the customization screen is what makes this concept memorable.